You already have the Skills for Success

In 3 minutes, I’m about to give a speech to an audience of 100 people.

But I don’t have one prepared.

The hot soft yellow stage lights beam down on me as I stand on stage wearing a suit among a group of friends.

But I’m not sweating, I’m shivering from nerves and anticipation of what's about to happen. I cross my arms behind my back feigning confidence and to hide my shaking hand and restrain it like an untrained dog. My palms grow clammy as the event goes on.

My filmmaking teacher is giving an overview of tonight’s film festival. Multiple student short films will be shown but the audience is here for the main event: a 30-minute short film where me and 11 others of my friends created. We stand shoulder to shoulder as our teacher showers us with compliments and emphasizes the importance of art and story in our lives. As he neared the end of his speech, my heart pounded in my chest like it was a ticking bomb nearing an explosion. I couldn’t breathe.

And then I heard the words I feared the most: “Here’s Mohammad Khan speaking on behalf of the Film Fest team & his experience in film.”

I blinked.

My vision returned as I saw my teacher standing on my right, waiting for me to grab the microphone from him.

Without thinking, I grabbed the mic with my left hand.

The next thing I remember is I’m sitting in the auditorium watching our film and the crowd’s reactions. Then the after party and finally reaching home. I texted my friends asking them what they thought of the speech. They said it was a good speech.

But I didn’t remember what I said, at all. My mind went blank.

That wasn’t the first time my mind has gone blank and someone else took the wheel.

Nor will it be the last.

Am I the person on the stage giving the speech or am I the shy person whose knees rattle as they stand before an audience? It’s both.

Peak performance coach, Todd Herman, explores this dichotomy in his book “The Alter-Ego Effect”.

The alter-ego is when you take a specific set of skills and focus them on a field of play. Herman worked with Kobe Bryant to develop his Black Mamba personality, and with other athletes, artists, parents, business leaders to develop alter-egos to help them be present and effective in their professional and personal lives.

We use alter-egos all the time.

We’re different people when we’re around friends, co-workers, strangers, and family. We’re different people given the situation. Competitive in sports, quiet and reserved in groups, stand-up comedian on stage, and a kid when around family.

But there’s an important distinction to make: Alter egos are not “fake it till you make it”.

They emphasize specific skills and attitudes we already have for specific areas. Our alter-egos are meaningful connections we have with ourselves. For example, during conversations I’m a kind and friendly person, but if I’m playing sports or working on a project or giving a speech, I’m different.

During the speech at the Film Festival, I got in the zone without anyone noticing.

As my teacher handed me the mic, I straightened my tie. Pulled my shoulders back. I grabbed the mic with my left hand and looked at my friends standing with me. I gave them a smirk oozing confidence. I spun on my left foot and strutted out towards the audience to give the speech.

Did I become someone different?

To others outside, absolutely. But to me internally, no. I chose a specific set of skills for a specific situation to perform my best. Each alter-ego is a part of me, like a Legion of Superheroes who come to the rescue at specific times.

When I gave the speech during the film fest, I adopted a persona of a charismatic speaker pulling from many times when I felt more confident and charismatic. I also imagined speakers whose qualities I’d like to mimic:

• Dave Chappelle’s storytelling

• The Cadence of Cornel West.

• Uncle Iroh’s wisdom.

I was no longer my stuttering, stammering, shaking self on stage.

Adopting alter-egos is like calling my own personal superhero squad to the rescue. The heroes emerged and revealed the strength within me.

In moments of uncertainty and apprehension, we discover the reservoirs of strength that lie within. We should embrace the diverse personas within us, for they are not masks but reflections of the courage dwelling in every soul.

Let our alter-egos stand as a testament to the vast spectrum of capabilities that define the human spirit and the reverberations of our boundless potential.

PS: Shoutout to the following Writers for giving me feedback on this post:

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• Derek Wong